i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
