Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
