When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
