umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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