My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
