Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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