Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
