party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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