I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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