What a fucking waste of an outfit
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
