I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
