It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize