I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
two words...techno handjob
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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