My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
