Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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