drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
