You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
