your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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