I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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