He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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