I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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