i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
