yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
