my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
