I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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