They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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