Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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