Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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