Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no, he came in my armpit
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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