nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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