she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize