id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
NoShamevember. You game?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
