Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
