bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
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Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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