He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
