im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
