people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
