why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
