1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
