ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize