She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
