Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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