You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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