the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
