He had one of those small greek statue penises
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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