Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
