Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
