about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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