I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
