The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize