oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
