Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
