It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
