It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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