i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
