i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Drunk is not a location!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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