I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
