Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
