i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
