Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
