I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
