Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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