We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
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mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm always down for nudity.
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