we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
my poor anus
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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