I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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