We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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