Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
