i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
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What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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