bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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