Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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