This girl is more easily done than said...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
